Lemme guess. You can relate to this:
Your right elbow is two centimeters from your neighboring passenger’s and if his eyes wander toward your computer screen ONE MORE TIME, you’ll use it. The woman in front of you finally stopped yapping at the top of her vocal capabilities only to recline her chair back so far back it nearly crushes your beloved laptop, ripping you from the end of what was sure to be your most poignant sentence to date. (Crap! What was I saying???) She then snores through your none-too-subtle knee jabs to her back, which seems to trigger a nearby infant’s screaming fit. But you have three uninterrupted hours to WRITE! And dang-nabbit, you’re going to.
How you ask? Here is what’s working—er, um…I imagine would work, for me…
1. Open a document or web page featuring information sure to off-put your neighbor. StopVaginitisNow.com for example, quickly deters young, embarrass-able males… Self-Pleasure Techniques for Her can stave off a persnickity, anti-feminist female. (Caution: Do not mistakenly use option B for passenger A.)
2. Type I KNOW YOU’RE READING THIS, BUSTER! (Insert more “colorful” terms as desired) in bold, large letters.
3. Gather up your frustration and convert it into writing fuel. Use your anger to strategically kill off the bad guy…your despair to convey the loneliness an imprisoned woman feels knowing she may never pursue her dreams…your humor to write a goofy satire involving a frustrated writer whose trouble-filled plane ride leads to fortune, fame and countless best-sellers…
Ideas to add? I’m all ears. My row buddy might appreciate it, too. (Yeah, YOU!)